One time my colleague asked me which church I go to. Honestly, I can\’t remember when was the last time I went to church and heard mass. I simply told her I don\’t go to church and don\’t hear mass anymore. She was like, huh?! Are you a free-thinker already? I answered that I still believe in Jesus and the Gospel. That doesn\’t make me a free-thinker yet. I just don\’t feel going to church and hearing mass anymore. If I\’m inside the church my heart is not into it (in Tagalog: Hindi taos sa puso).
When I was a kid, Mom would always see to it that we go to church every Sunday. I thought it was the right thing to do because Mom (she\’s a devout Catholic) told us so. We thought Dad is \’not good\’ because he seldom goes to church with us. I feel emptiness and conflict. Time passed-by, going to church has been a scarcity. Even mom already gave up on pushing us, we just realized one day that she never call us anymore for mass every Sunday morning. Now I can say, we\’re very much like dad. We had never known his reasons for not hearing mass every Sunday. We don\’t mind knowing the reason anyway.
I don\’t know how to progress on this matter because, it\’s kind of complex and others might not understand me. I saw this video and has laid out the ironies and truth on Jesus > Religion.
This is my personal choice. Don\’t judge me. I might find myself converting in another religion, who knows? If that happens, I\’m going to make sure I\’m not forced nor influenced by others. It has to be on my own free will. For now, I\’m happy with where I am.